Finding that person that you want to spend the rest of your life with is a dream for many of us. Some of us are lucky enough to find that person early in our lives, while many of us have had to kiss alot of frogs to find our Prince Charming.
Even when you find your Prince Charming, over time they may slowly turn back into a frog. (If you know what I mean). If you are in a long term relationship, you know that it isn’t always easy. There are many challenges that stick their head up when you least expect it. It could be arguments about money, about the effort each person is putting into the relationship, it could be a disagreement on priorities, and fairness.
Everybody, even those perfect couples, have fights. You can’t live with someone for a long time, and not have a disagreement. Those perfect couples may either be really good at masking their disagreements, or they have found a way to sit down, talk and come to an agreement in most situations. The fact is you need to work at having a good relationship. And that means there has to be some give and take. So here are some relationship tips that you should use in your own relationships.
Carve Out Time “Just For The Two of You”
Life can get very busy. Especially if you have kids, and work and hobbies. Finding time for “Just The Two of You” can be difficult. That’s why you need to put that time on your calendar and make it a priority. Find a place that you both enjoy, but also a place that you can connect. Talk to each other. Go back to dating again. Fall in love again if you need to.
Express Appreciation As Often As You Can
Express appreciation for anything you can, even for those small things. Being appreciated feels good and makes your feel important. When you show appreciation to your partner, it makes them feel important. It is a small gift that you can give someone that doesn’t cost anything, but goes a long way.
Fights happen. It is how you react when you are in a fight, and the things you do and say that will build a relationship or destroy it. Fighting fair means that you can still get your point across, but you don’t need to make it personal and say things you will regret later. Don’t keep rehashing old wounds. That doesn’t help anyone. You may feel better for a moment, but that will fade, and eventually you will wish you could take it back.
Keep Realistic Expectations
The fact is that no one is perfect. Only in movies will you find that perfect person that has no faults. So accept that your partner has faults. They may snore, or they may carry extra weight. Perhaps they don’t have the best job, or wear the best clothes. Perhaps they don’t love your mother.
Whatever their fault is, determine if it is something that you can live with. If it is something you can live with, than look for those things that make your partner so special. Those things that you can’t do without. Don’t try and change them. Rather embrace their faults and love them for who they are.
You don’t have to be that person that you present yoruself as in your instagram, facebook and twitter accounts. Just be yourself. Your partner fell in love with you, so be the best you you can be. When you try and change the things about you that you don’t like, you sometimes lose the best parts of yourself.
A perfect couple is actually two individuals that love each other and respect each other. That means that they don’t always share the same ideas and priorities. When you have different plans, you must learn to compromise. This is where the give and take comes into effect. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your plans to make your partner happy. Sometimes, even if things aren’t important to you, you need to consider how important it is to your partner.
Don’t Expect Your Partner to Know What is On Your Mind
I am not sure about you, but I am not a mind reader. Actually, I haven’t met a person that is a mind reader, that knows what every person is thinking. Your partner probably isn’t a mind reader either. That means that if there is something that is on your mind, and it is making you upset, or grumpy, or even happy…..just share it. When you share these things with your partner, they will know what you are thinking and can either help, or at least be sympathetic. You won’t make them guess what is on your mind. Communication is key in a great relationship.
Part of this is stop saying “Thing are fine” when they aren’t. Talk it out. Let your partner and your family help you.
Tackle The Chores Together
When one person is doing all of the household chores, they may become resentful. Expecially if the other partner doesn’t recognize and appreciate the work that they are doing. Help out where you count. We used to talk about blue jobs and pink jobs, but now realize that there are no such thing as blue and pink jobs. Either one of us can cook, do dishes, do laundry, mow the lawn or take out the garbage. This doesn’t meant that you should keep score, because some days you have more energy to do the work and sometimes your partner will have more energy. As the saying goes, it will all work itself out in the wash.
Talk About What Isn’t Working
Remember that it is OK to talk about things that aren’t working in your relationship. Just because there are things that don’t work in one or two parts of your relationship, doesn’t mean that your relationship is falling apart. There are probably parts of your relationship that are fantastic. Recognize those parts, and use that as a guideline to help those parts that need help. Just don’t give up.
Relationships can be difficult, but it’s worth it to work hard and figure it out. Comment below to give us some tips that strengthen your own relationships.